What it Means to be Human
by Acid Spine
Summary: Homunculi are not emotionally vulnerable like humans are. But will Envy's single mistake be able to alter that? Ed x Envy, mpreg, yaoi, smut, slight OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

**A/N- Just some notes before you guys start reading this, it'll make more sense this way I suppose. I will probably mention a lot of stuff here in chapters it applies to, but some of it speaks for the entire fic overall, so just read this if you wanna be less confused.**

**- If ya wanna get all scientific on me, homunculi cannot TECHNICALLY reproduce. I'm pretty sure that it's been confirmed at least once. But it's been confirmed an infinite amount of times that a man cannot carry a child and mpreg fics are everywhere. So I'm pretty sure I can get away with this one.**

**- When Envy is in a female body, I'm going to refer to him with feminine pronouns.**

**- So this fic would basically occur in a situation where the homunculi somehow survive following the end of FMA, I'm gonna say that the canon events of 2003!FMA ended around episode 35, and matters with the homunculi were somehow resolved (they're still enemies though), yet Dante defeated. It's a few years following that.**

**- Going with the above statement, the only homunculi I can really see staying together following Dante's demise are Envy, Lust, Sloth, and Wrath. This fanfiction incorporates those homunculi.  
**

**- This fanfiction is an mpreg, so if that makes you uncomfortable, you may turn around now. ~**

**- The rating says M for a reason, be warned, this fanfiction contains sexual themes, swearing, and other mature content that I'm too lazy to mention.  
**

**Sorry for the huge A/N, just wanted to get that out of the way. Now, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned FMA then... Well, you guys don't even wanna know what would happen to Colonel Bastard~**

* * *

Envy didn't exactly feel guilt at coming to Edward to fulfill his desires. Not exactly remorse or regret either. It was something more along the lines of shame, that a powerful homunculus such as him could be so like a human, yet so unlike one simultaneously. That he could not only lust for Edward, but feel something more than that. Maybe not love or anything stupid and cliche along those lines. But Envy had been experiencing the first little pulls at whatever remained of his heart whenever his mind wandered to thoughts of Edward.

And as those little tugs on his tattered heartstrings grew stronger, they drove the homunculus to pursue Edward. From the safe confines of a good disguise, of course. As much as Envy hated to admit, he was too much of a coward to appear in front of Edward in the form that the alchemist knew best.

Winry latched her thin fingers around Ed's slim wrist, dragging him blindly into the dark bedroom. The room was rather filthy, the bare minimum, and like other dorms it served only as a place to spend the night while transferring through the maze of military bases that littered the country of Amestris. She sighed in displeasure at such revolting accommodations, but this was only a minor discomfort, and would serve it's job as it should.

Edward and Winry were in a serious relationship. All of their acquaintances seemed to agree that they were perfect for each other, especially the girls, who would spend hours giggling and fangirling over how 'cute' they were. Edward didn't necessarily welcome the attention, but anything for his Mechanic.

Or at least, who Edward thought to be his Mechanic.

The Winry imposter slammed open the door, chipping the faded paint on the bare walls, and forcefully yanked Ed in, frenzied by desire. They both collapsed onto the bed, tumbling onto the mattress in a passionate embrace. Their lips were locked together, their tongues hungrily battled for dominance. Ed had won easily, of course, but Envy had let him. The homunculus could have won if she wanted to, but Winry couldn't have. Envy silently praised her own acting skills, smirking into the kiss.

Ed pulled his face back slowly, gazing apprehensively into Winry's baby blue, half lidded eyes. "I-I don't know if I'm ready..." She lied. Envy had been ready for so long, so long to see why everyone had always desired Edward, why he was always the prize. Dante had wanted him, the military, Winry, and even Hohenheim. What was so special about him that could possibly make them see the alchemist in such a light? And the bitter, nagging little whine at the back of his head squeaked out the question, _Why not me?_

"Don't worry, we'll take it slow." Edward whispered, as his shivering seemed to gradually calm. Envy smiled, no, smirked in anticipation. A few out of character moments wouldn't hurt anyone, well, except for maybe Ed if and when he found out.

Ed obviously had no idea what he was doing. And he knew that, as he reached his fingers down to Envy's shorts and gingerly unbuttoned them. He slowly slid them off of her long, lean legs, her underwear going with them, and when he was finished he flung them away, only to land on some poor, unsuspecting chair. Ed pulled Envy's tube top up over her head, surprised at the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. Envy mentally cursed herself, forgetting that human females often wore coverings for their breasts. Oh well, maybe that would make the whole situation more erotic.

Ed's face flushed fifty shades of red at Envy's, who he thought to be Winry's nude body before him. She looked up at him expectantly, eyes filled with lust. Her tongue traced her lips, wetting them ever so slightly. It took everything that the homunculus held inside of her not to pounce on him and devour his childish innocence, right then and there. This was why they wanted him, it was an indescribable feeling that Envy was experiencing now, as Edward was hers for the taking. And oh, how she would _take _it.

Slowly, carefully, Edward put one of his fingers at her opening, evoking an out of character squeal from the disguised homunculus. He gently inserted one flesh finger inside of her, pumping slowly and rhythmically, this time earning him a moan of pleasure. Envy couldn't take the waiting any longer, this unfamiliar body was screaming for it, begging for it, she didn't even care that she wasn't the one doing all the work as she would have preferred, the only thing that mattered was that Edward wanted her and she wanted him. And Envy wished that she wasn't living up to the stupid name that she had been dubbed so accurately, and she wished that she didn't want to reveal her true form and for Edward to want her for who she _really _was. But she did want that, she longed for it so terribly badly, she longed for him, lusted, hopelessly desired in a way impossible for a being with only a mind and body to even dream of. Yet she had it, right in the palm of her hand. And she wanted to want it to go away, but she knew she loved it more than she should have. Her mind was racing, the thoughts clouding up her mind that should have been filled with here and now, yet it was and wasn't at the same time.

Inserting another finger, Edward scissored them, at first slowly and gently, slightly going rougher, feeling her tight, muscular walls. "Quit the foreplay, I'm ready." Envy snarled impatiently through the moans, suggestively spreading her legs wider. She mentally facepalmed. Why was playing the character of Winry so damn difficult? She wished that a role wasn't needed and that it was herself, the sadistic homunculus that she could so freely portray. But if wishes could only come true.

Ed glanced up nervously into her gleaming eyes, filled with lust and hope and want and that miniscule spark of hatred at no one and everyone all at once. Envy thanked god that the alchemist had missed that. He removed his fingers cautiously, now slick with the sticky liquid, and gingerly removed his remaining articles of clothing, their discarded clothes now littering the floor around the bed.

Now fully nude, he put the head of his length at her opening, causing her to moan heartily. Envy struggled not to lick her lips hungrily, height wasn't the only place that Ed had gained a couple of inches.

And as Ed slowly pushed into her, Envy let out a loud groan. He let himself sit there for a moment, letting her adjust to him, but she was adjusted and ready and couldn't take the wait any longer, she needed to feel him hit that one spot over and over again so hard that it bruised and goddammit she needed it now! And then he slammed in, hitting that one tender spot, increasing in pace with every thrust. Envy threw her head back and moaned in the euphoria of pleasure. Why she hadn't had the will or the courage to do this sooner, she didn't know.

And as the force and pace of the thrusts increased, accurately pounding her sweet spot, Edward eventually released, his body jolting. Ed pulled out of her slowly, and once they were no longer connected they both collapsed onto the bed, his toned chest glistening with sweat. "That was amazing..." Envy whispered, panting in exhilaration. That, at least, wasn't an act. Who knew that the chibi was so good, even on what was probably his first time? Ed leaned over and kissed her lips gently and sweetly, lovingly. But Envy had to constantly remind herself, that love wasn't for her, it was for Winry. "I love you." Ed murmured softly, moving some of her damp, blonde hair off of her pretty face.

The lust began to fade from her mind as she was again reminded that as a homunculus all she could do was live up to her name and wallow in her own self pity and jealousy like a pathetic human. And though the pinpricks of feelings were returning to her tormented soul, there was no way to express such exhilarating emotions, how did humans do it? It had been too long for Envy to remember.

Envy's eyes were filled with a melancholy glaze, as her own lips moved on their own and her brain could do nothing to stop them. "I love you too."

* * *

Ed had went into the shower, having explained that he was required to report to Colonel Bastard's office quite soon. And he certainly couldn't look like he'd just had sex, discussing important matters with his superior. Probably involving the homunculi, Envy couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the irony. If only he knew.

Envy sighed softly, having been left alone in the small bedroom. He changed out of Winry's sweaty, uncomfortable body, and back into his more attractive preferred form. Why did he strive for that human's love? He was a homunculus, love was an emotion unneeded to him. He hated it. He hated that he was living up to his name, that he was jealous of that horrid looking blonde girl. And all because Edward loved her. Why did Edward love her so much? Why did Envy want Edward's love? Why did he want to feel it as much as he did, and hoping silently, harder and stronger than Lust or Wrath or any of the others had ever prayed, hoping that he would one day be able to be a human again.

Envy clutched his skull as the questions ran through his already tormented mind, resembling pinpricks in his brain. What did he want to gain by coming here, getting a little sexed up? Did he think it would cease his desires? If anything, his lust for Edward had only strengthened. How pathetic of him.

Envy got up from the bed, and slowly crept over to the window. He slid open the faded glass, jumping onto the sill, crouched over on the balls of his feet. He tossed a silent, pleading glance over his shoulder that maybe, somehow, Edward would be looking on with a somewhat acceptance burning in those beautiful golden eyes, but that did not happen. He leapt out, silently landing on the harsh asphalt and ignoring the burning it left in his feet, for it was no match for the ache in absence of his soul.

And as he was on the ground, two horrified voices could just barely make their way to his ears, those of the true Winry Rockbell and Edward Elric.

* * *

"What the hell did you do, Envy?" Lust growled, her normally smooth, sultry voice laced in annoyance.

Envy looked up with disinterest, studying his nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. "I fucked O'Chibi-san. Didn't you hear me the first time?" That was only the half of it. Couldn't the stupid woman figure it out, from his tone, the subtle throb in his words that he was actually hurting for once?

"I heard you the first time, you idiot. How could you do something so careless and stupid?" Her violet eyes were blazing, but her voice had lost its edge. Now resembling a mother scolding her child. Careless? Stupid? He had put so much fucking thought into what he had done, and this is what he received? Envy almost felt insulted in a crude way.

"I was just curious." Envy muttered, pausing briefly. "Lust, it's in your namesake to sexually desire someone. And you've also always wanted to be human. You understand, right?" He was almost pleading, now. Maybe he just wanted someone to feel his pain alongside him, anyone, even Lust as disgusted as he was with her at the time, it wouldn't be terrible to know that he wasn't alone in his chasm of despair.

Lust sighed, knowing that Envy's words held a truth to them. "Yes, you're right. However, it would be more understandable if it was I who committed such actions, but what would compel you to do so?" She countered, being one to despise her own flaws. Envy smiled bitterly, knowing that was her form of somewhat sick acceptance.

"I just wanted to know what it felt like to be loved."

* * *

**Okay so I edited everything and its 1 AM Oh my god. Why is my inspiration so damn good this early? I don't even know but like, something happens in my brain between 12:30 - 1:00.  
**

**I'd just like to thank my amazing beta Alexa. HAVE A COOKIE YOU LOVELY, LOVELY PERSON!**

**Chapter 2 will be better I promise. If you'd like to give me feedback, I'd be happy to read it~!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**So I've skipped about 3-4 weeks. I might add what's going on during that time period later on, but for now there would be too much useless garbage in between. I suppose the genre will begin to shift to a more light-hearted one as time progresses. It might even turn into humor later on, so expect that the rating will be subject to change. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: My name is not Hiromu Arakawa, therefore I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Thank you *bows***

* * *

Envy was crouched pitifully over the filthy bucket, violently throwing up whatever food he had managed to stomach. Homunculi weren't required to eat, but Envy was one of the few that did so quite often. But the more crucially important fact was that he was also regurgitating a quantity of the glowing pinkish-red stones that had kept him alive, sustaining his existence for nearly 400 years.

The remaining homunculi were huddled around him, watching with somewhat concern for their eldest brother. Lust was standing behind him with a firm grip on his long, dark hair, holding it out of his face. She was pleased that he couldn't see the tormented worry displayed on her pale features, as she absentmindedly intertwined the lengthy, silken tendrils to take her wandering mind off of Envy's suffering.

Sloth was sitting near him, appearing to be unconcerned with her typical apathetic gloom, when in all actuality she was terribly worried, biting her bottom lip in a motherly sort of way. She couldn't help but feel a strong sense of anguish, watching Envy so helpless and vulnerable, he would make easy prey to the military, or even Greed if the bastard ever decided to show his ugly mug again. Wrath was too young and naïve to even begin to comprehend the severity of the situation, completely oblivious as he watched innocently yet disinterestedly from his surrogate mother's side.

As his stomach at long last deemed itself barren, Envy gasped for air as tears streamed down his pretty, androgynous face (1). "W-What the hell is this!?" He panted heavily, clutching the painfully empty muscular sac that was his stomach. Had he not been so completely caught off guard and defenseless at the time, Envy would have been significantly more venomous, complete with his typical slander and array of colorful word choice.

Lust heaved a sigh, releasing her grasp on Envy's dark locks and letting them drape around his ashen face. "Envy, this is the third day that you've completely rejected all nourishment... We're going to have to take you to a doctor." Envy opened his dry lips to protest, when instead, it was Sloth who objected. "How would we do that? The doctors would either try to experiment on him or turn him in to the military police." She scoffed placidly.

"I wasn't finished." Lust smirked coyly, giving Envy a rising sense of dread. A smirk like that coming from Lust was never good, it meant that the manipulative seductress of the homunculi was plotting something. "The doctors won't harm him if we have a respected military officer in our presence..." Envy's looked at her for a moment with an expression of slight confusion, before his eyes widened with horror as he came to a sudden realization of what her words implied. "No way in fucking hell! I am not going to pipsqueak with this!" He argued, straining his raw throat resulting in a coughing fit from the eldest homunculi, making him feel like throwing up whatever was left inside him. He clamped a hand over his dry, messy lips to keep it down.

"Now, now, Envy, I never said that..." Lust couldn't help but smirk at Envy's pointed reluctance. He glared daggers up at her from his crouch on the floor, rolling back so that he was lying flat on his back with an agitated sigh that resembled more of a huff. "You fucking implied it." The sick homunculus whined, puffing out his bottom lip slightly, growing increasingly upset.

"But if we don't do this Envy, you could die." Sloth interjected suddenly. "Who knows how many stones you have left inside of you, if any at all?" Envy stared blankly at her. She had a good point, what if this really was fatal? What if his time was beginning to crumble after four hundred long years? He started feeling a vague fear begin to rise in his chest, and his breath rate increased.

What if Envy was going to die?

Envy grimaced, hiding his face behind his greenish black tendrils. "I'm not going to O'Chibi-san for help... He hates me now, anyways." He muttered bitterly, hiding the palpitating fear in his stomach. "Why does he hate you?" Wrath questioned somewhat innocently, causing Envy to snarl under his breath and turn his head away. Wrath huffed childishly upon receiving no answer from the older homunculus.

Sloth frowned. "Envy, y-" Lust cut the youngest homunculus off, standing up suddenly and surprising everyone in the room. "I'll be back in a minute," she said bluntly, as she groped around for her fur coat, throwing it around her shoulders upon retrieving the garment. She silently crept to the door, knowing that there would be no winner to the argument. The three remaining homunculi could only stare after her with apprehensive shock at her as she strutted out of the room, her hips swaying with her own boldness.

* * *

The Elric brothers were relaxing contentedly in the barely furnished dorms, with no missions having presented themselves (ones that held an importance that was high enough, anyways) and Al's body having been restored at long last. Everything was mostly peaceful for the two, except for the state of Edward's relationship in shreds, and the older alchemist lacking the heart to be able to break it to Al.

Edward shouldn't have really thought that the whole situation would bother Al too much, Alphonse would see both sides of the argument easily if given a chance to wrap his mind around Envy's perspective. But Al and Winry were close, just as close as Ed was to her if not closer, and the younger would probably be upset with Edward if he had hurt the automail mechanic in any way, whether it be his fault or not.

Their peace was soon interrupted, however, by a hollow knock on the door. "I'll get it, nii-san!" Al chirped cheerfully, getting up to open the door. Edward couldn't help but smile sadly at his own brother's naivety, sighing softly.

Alphonse swung open the door, smiling brightly until he caught a glimpse of the visitor's identity. "W-What are you doing here!?" He stammered nervously, alerting Ed and causing him to stand up in alarm and whirl around to face the threat. "Lust! What the hell are you doing here?" He hissed, clenching his teeth to bite back his utter rage.

Lust scoffed. "I think your brother just asked that, Fullmetal." Her teasing expression suddenly darkened slightly, as she fidgeted in an uncharacteristically troubled way. "May I come in? It's urgent." Her voice sounded pleading, and in a truly sincere manner for once.

"I'm not in the mood to talk to any of you homunculi." Edward snarled, though unable to put up a significant resistance against Lust's strength as she easily shoved him out of the way as if he were as light as a doll, and barged in, wasting no time in making herself comfortable.

"L-Lust-san, could you please get off of our couch?" Al whimpered meekly from the door. "Just be patient!" She snapped, twitching an eyebrow. Ed grunted, his eyes burning holes into the back of her head. "Fine, make it quick though." He replied begrudgingly, glaring at her with piercing golden eyes.

"Allow me to explain. Envy's grown very s-"

"I'm not going to have anything to do with that bastard." Edward growled, cutting her off shortly, turning away slightly.

"Listen here, Fullmetal. And don't interrupt me." Lust hissed threateningly, pursing her full lips. "Now, Envy's fallen very ill, he can't keep down any food or the Philosopher's stones." She explained.

"And why should I care?" Edward muttered, crossing his arms in annoyance with a huff. "Well Edward, his sickness is probably related to what occurred between the two of you three weeks ago."

Alphonse looked confused. "What's she talking about, nii-san?" He asked innocently, blinking uneasily. "Ah- um- Al-" Ed stuttered, trying to piece together words that only sounded like unfamiliar sounds, knowing with reluctance that he would have to explain this.

Lust sighed at the brothers' lack of communication skills. "You haven't even told him?" She ground out through her grit teeth, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. "You can explain that later, however Envy could be dying as we speak!" She begged. Edward looked her up and down with a slightly shocked look on his face at seeing the homunculus so truly concerned for her brother. Homunculi always claimed to be alone in their own fights, caring for nothing and no one. Yet how could he believe such such an accusation when Lust was practically on her knees, unable to take her hopeful eyes off of Envy's only hope?

"What do you propose I do about it?" Ed asked, still annoyed but now just barely less reluctant to help her.

"If you could come with us to a doctor, then they won't harm him as they would if we were alone." She explained, looking quite exasperated. She looked down, an embarrassed expression on her face. To hell with her own foolish pride, this had to be done. "Please, Edward." She muttered, head turned away.

Edward couldn't help but widen his eyes, before his expression hardened once again. "Nii-san, whatever Envy did it couldn't have been that bad." Al said gently, trying to persuade the alchemist. But his efforts were to no avail, as the older of the two turned to face his brother and he completely snapped. "Not that bad!? That fucking idiot cost me Winry! She left me because he impersonated her, and I had sex with the bastard!" Ed exclaimed, bristling slightly as Al's eyes widened in a mixture of shock and horror.

"Are death and losing your girlfriend really an equivalent exchange?" Lust countered, her lips cast in a frown. Edward looked up suddenly, a bit surprised at her alchemical reference. "I suppose not..." Was Envy costing Edward his relationship really worth the loss of the homunculus's life? 'It probably isn't that serious', Ed chided himself mentally, but what if it was? Homunculi didn't get sick like this very often, did they?

"Fine... I'll do it." Ed mumbled in an undertone, and Lust couldn't help but smile in relief. "I'll be back soon with him." She said shortly, getting up and walking quickly to the door. "Whoa wait, we're doing this today!?" Ed rasped, panicking slightly while his eyes were widened to the size of saucers. But Lust was already out the door, and there was nothing that Ed or Al could do about it.

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?" Edward sighed, collapsing onto the hard, uncomfortable couch cushions. "Nii-san?" Al questioned, his eyes trained intently on his older brother. "Is what you said about what Envy did.. Is that really true?" He asked solemnly, golden eyes set pleadingly on Edward.

Edward sighed, looking down shamefully. "Winry isn't going to be visiting for a while, Al."

* * *

**1) He isn't really crying, but when you throw up for some reason tears come down at the same time. At least for me anyways, I don't know about you~**

**I FINALLY FINISHED THIS AH I THINK I JUST SELF DESTRUCTED  
It's not like I have a lot going on in my life right now, my life is actually really good compared to people who get constantly bullied or abused or have money problems at home, or work 2 jobs. I'm too young to work, but in all actuality my life is nice. So I can update a lot~~ The one thing I don't really like about my life is that my dad is pressuring me about karate when I really don't like it, and when I explained that to my mom she basically doesn't care. So that's my life. I feel like the first chapter was much better, kinda feel like this one really sucked. A bit rushed, I guess? Especially the second half after the page break, like really what the hell was that?**

**I'd be really happy to receive feedback on how I did, thanks~  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Must... Edit... Before... School... Comes... Out...**

**So I'm gonna be back in school on August 19 /sobs. **

******Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, a very lucky (and now probably filthy rich) woman named Hiromu Arakawa does~**

* * *

"We have an appointment for an... Envy Elric?" A perky receptionist beamed from behind her humble wooden desk, smiling brightly.

"Who the fuck put me under the last name of Elric!?" Envy hissed venomously, trying to hide the flush that quickly rose to his sickly pale cheeks.

"It wasn't me, blame Lust!" Edward snarled in reply, whirling around to face the enraged homunculus.

Envy glared daggers as Edward and Lust (mainly Lust) ignored his protests and continued to drag the unwilling homunculus into the examination room. "They said that they needed a last name for you, what was I supposed to do?" The seductress couldn't help but curl the corner of her lips upwards as Envy continued to try and writhe out of Lust's iron grip, the younger homunculus purposefully allowing her nails to just pinch into his skin.

"You could have done better!" Envy continued to argue, putting up a half-hearted fight, before Ed yelled at him to 'shh!' because he was making infants cry with all the noise he was causing. Envy glowered as a growl rasped deep in his throat, but he shut up, swallowing his pride with the knowledge that he did need help.

"This way, Miss Elric~" The same receptionist from before chirped cheerfully, holding a small wooden clip board in one arm.

"I am not a motherfucking girl! Don't you have papers that tell you what gender I am!?" Envy continued to rage, while both Lust and Ed each held on to one of his arms, restraining the infuriated homunculus.

Lust pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Envy, you're making a scene," she grumbled placidly, while Envy seemed to noticeably calm, taking note of the thick headed receptionist holding a door open for him. Muttering under his breath, he pushed Ed and Lust aside and stormed into the room. He was still mumbling incoherent threats under his breath as he was seated in the examination room.

"The doctor will be with the three of you in a moment~" The secretary giggled in an air-headed sort of way as she skipped off left the three of them in peace.

Once Ed was positive that she was out of earshot, he directed his attention to Envy, who was now staring blankly at the white walls. "Let me ask you something, Envy. What the hell were you thinking, getting into bed with me like that?" The alchemist sibilated, as his eyebrows came together to from a sort of frown mixed with a glare.

All eyes fell on Envy, awaiting the pale homunculus's reaction. Envy looked up sullenly, but before he got the chance to explain the workings of his mind, the door loudly slammed open, causing the attention to be taken off of Envy.

The woman standing in the doorway was tall, with pale skin, bluish grey eyes obscured by square rimmed glasses, and brown hair tied up in a ponytail. She was plain looking, yet would be one of the quite prominent faces in a crowd due to the barely noticeable psychotic glint in her eyes. That look made Envy tense up, and the broad smile that she wore on her face didn't help his uneasiness.

"Hello dearies! My name is Dr. Rosenthal, and- What do we have here, a homunculus?" A grin spread across her features, as she near flew over to Envy. "What a beautiful specimen!" She praised, lifting his arms and legs as she fawned over him, uttering incoherent babble that resembled: 'I don't get enough of those!' "What the hell are you talking about, specimen!?" Envy snarled defensively, scooching back against the wall and holding his head as far from her as possible.

"D-Doctor, if you'd refrain from doing that..." Ed stammered nervously, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish laugh.

"Hm? Oh yes, sorry." Dr. Rosenthal said nonchalantly, releasing some of Envy's green hair that she'd managed to get a hold of, causing the homunculus to quietly sigh in relief.

"So, why're you two here?" She asked bluntly. "Wait, two? Wasn't Lust here...?" Envy looked around in confusion, grunting upon not finding her, assuming that she'd slunk out while he was preoccupied. The damned bitch had left him alone to die at the hands of this pathetic human!

"Well you see," Ed started, completely disregarding the sin. "Envy has been sick lately... He's been vomiting Philosopher's stones." The alchemist explained, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. The doctor raised an eyebrow. "Alright..." She quickly jotted something down on the paper, taking on a much more professional stance than she'd held a few minutes ago.

Doctor Rosenthal proceeded with a bombardment of questions, some that made Envy quite uncomfortable. They were relatively normal, however The last question, bothered the agonized homunculus the most.

"Have you been involved in intercourse recently?" The doctor asked, peering at him from behind her glasses. The homunculus in question looked down sullenly. "Yes..." He muttered quietly, his face now wearing a slight shade of red. More soft, unpleasant sounds could be heard as the pen scratched against the paper.

She looked up from the paperwork, grinning broadly. "Time for the physical examination~" She chimed enthusiastically. Envy grimaced as he lay down flat on his back, his hair splaying out across the table as he eyed her warily. She approached, still wearing her maddened grin, as she groped around his hips and chest. "I have so many tests to run on your kind.." She noted, sighing contentedly as she slipped her fingers into Envy's tight skort. "What the fuck are you doing!?" Envy hissed, slapping her hands away. Ed couldn't help but snicker quietly from where he sat, watching Envy's rage unfurl.

"I have to make sure that you aren't suffering from an STD or anything like that." She explained with a laugh, Envy still glaring murderously up at her. His violet eyes hardened to slits. "Well there's nothing there! Homunculi don't get that stuff. Now did you feel anything?"

"I did feel one thing." Dr. Rosenthal said abruptly, causing Envy's heart to almost stop. "We'll have to run some tests to be sure, but I think I know exactly what's wrong with you!" She exclaimed triumphantly. "All we need is a blood sample."

Envy's eyes widened with horror. "No! I hate syringes and needles and all that shit!" He shrieked, backing away from the psychotically grinning doctor until his back was against the wall.

"Envy you have to let her take the sample." Ed pressed, despite the fact that he was almost as bad with blood samples as Envy was. He grumbled under his breath at the fact that this was taking much longer than he'd planned; Al was expecting him back at 5, and it was nearly 6 at the time. He knew that his brother was one to worry, and Ed was going to be in a lot of trouble with the younger boy when he arrived home.

Ed's thoughts were interrupted by a loud and over exaggerated yelp from no other than the homunculus himself. "That needle huuuuuuurts!" He complained, rubbing the tiny speck that let out a thin trail of liquid crimson. "Can you not heal on your own?" Doctor Rosenthal asked with a slightly confused expression.

"Not without my stones, I can't change forms either." Envy explained, dabbing the spot of blood with a gauze. "Ooh, you're a shapeshifter!" Rosenthal exclaimed enthusiastically, clasping her hands together with excitement.

Envy grunted. "Yeah, we done now?" He asked impatiently, sucking his teeth in annoyance.

"Yes, yes, wait here while I go and get the results!" She said with barely contained joy, running off gleefully.

"What the fuck was that?" Envy hissed, fine except for the immense tarnish on his delicate ego.

"You're asking me?" Ed snorted, before his expression hardened slightly. "You never answered my question, Envy."

"Would you just drop it already?" The homunculus in question snarled, his hands clenching into fists.

"I can't drop it, Envy!" Edward looked at him pleadingly. "You just want to ruin my life? That it?" He suggested crudely.

"You don't know what it's like to be a homunculus! We don't love, and because of that, we never receive any either. Did you ever think I just wanted to know what it felt like? Or am I too big of a monster for you to even consider that?" He mumbled the last sentence in a nostalgic tone, Edward could see that this wasn't a show either. Something about the sincereness in the broken homunculus's melancholy tone brought his true intentions to light.

Ed opened his mouth to respond, when in the place of his voice was the slamming of a door and in walked the eccentric doctor (1). "Well, kiddies! Here are the results of the pregnancy test! You're lucky, you're the only test we had to run today so you get the results quicker."

Both Envy and Ed's eyes widened disbelievingly. "Did you just say-" Envy started, trembling in his seat.

She nodded apathetically. "I know this is a lot to take in, but-"

"A lot to take in!?" Envy cried murderously, gripping his green hair in horror. "How can you be sure!? There has to be a mistake, there has to be!"

Ed couldn't move. He was frozen from shock, unable to make his brain function properly. This couldn't be happening, it wasn't possible.

"Well, it's happening sweetheart." Rosenthal eyed him sympathetically. "We've detected levels of HCG in your bloodstream, which is only found in pregnant women." She explained. "Now this is quite unnatural, as we're both aware, but since you are a homunculus the rules of human genetics and gender might my apply to y-"

"I'll be right back." Envy muttered, clutching his stomach as he threw open the heavy door and quickly stormed out.

"So I'm guessing you're the father?" The doctor asked Ed gently, who was still unresponsive. "I just love handling male pregnancies~ No one in the scientific community has any idea how they're even possible!"

"E-Envy's pregnant?" Ed croaked out.

"Most first time dads are like this. Don't worry, I'm not gonna let anything happen to your little bun in the oven!" She grinned cheerfully.

Ed began to feel slightly dizzy, clutching his skull in frustration. "You don't understand..." He ground out, gritting his teeth as Envy woozily sauntered back in. "I had to throw up." He explained, clinging to a wall for support, being unable up hold himself up due to light-headedness. He eventually sat back down, slumping into the chair with a groan.

"So what do I do about this?" Envy asked in a shaky voice, sounding as if he were about to cry.

"Are you alright, Envy?" Ed asked, sounding mildly concerned.

"Do I sound fucking alright!?" He hissed over dramatically, and at this point he actually was in tears.

"Ah, don't worry about him. The hormones are gettin' to him is all." Dr. Rosenthal told Ed reassuringly.

"I'm fucking pregnant! Seriously, what the hell is this!?" Envy wailed, growing increasingly more and more upset.

"Now, Mr. Envy, you're going to be fine, mmk? You'll need to come back in a month though, just to make sure everything's okay." The doctor explained.

"How is this possible though?" Ed questioned nervously, twiddling his thumbs apprehensively.

"You did say that you could change forms, Envy, is it possible that you were in a woman's body upon intercourse?"

"Fuck... But I thought homunculi couldn't reproduce!" Envy protested, sitting up straight and drying his puffy red eyes.

"But you're throwing up your philosopher's stones, is it possible that you are no longer fully a homunculus?" Rosenthal suggested.

"St-Still..." He protested disbelievingly. "Thank you, doctor. He'll be back in a month." Edward cut in, getting up and shooing Envy out of the room with him. They could hear a loud 'Good Luck!' from the now vacated room.

Once they had left, Ed stopped Envy and looked him in the eye. "This is all your fault." He hissed poisonously, his golden eyes glowing with rage.

"We can't get out of this, Ed! What, are you gonna abandon your kid, just like your father did to you!?" Envy yelled. He was feeling that horrible stinging sensation in the back of his eyes, as his throat simultaneously tightened. Did Edward really despise the homunculus enough to abandon his own child? "This isn't all my fault either, you're the one who forgot to use a condom." Envy growled as an afterthought.

Ed glowered at him. "I won't abandon our child, Envy. We'll have to get through this together."

Suddenly, the clicking of heels could be made out as a dark figure emerged. "Aw damn, this means I owe Sloth 20 bucks." Lust chided, revealing herself to have been waiting for them outside of the building.

Envy gaped at her. "You bet on whether or not I was having a child!?"

Lust clucked her tongue. "That's besides the point, anyways, neither I or any of the other homunculi are capable of handling a pregnant man. We're going to have to leave you with Edward."

"No!" Both Ed and Envy exclaimed in unison. Envy was repulsed, he'd have to spend the next 8 and a half months of his life with chibi?

"I'll come to check up on you two of course, maybe I'll even leave Wrath with you." Lust simpered.

Envy grimaced. "Aw, he'll make this even worse!"

"Do I even get a say in this?" Ed complained, feeling very much like a third wheel at the time. However, he too did not really want to be sharing a home with Envy. He knew, however, that it had to be done regardless of what either party wanted.

"Lust, I..." Envy's voice trailed off slowly, as he staggered to remain upright, but to no avail as weariness took over and he collapsed to his knees, his head hitting the ground as he fell unconscious.

"Envy!" Ed cried out in surprise, while Lust only snorted. "He's fine, just tired. Pregnancy is really taking it out of him." She scoffed, crossing two lean arms against her ample chest. "You should take him to your home, I'll be over to check on you two tomorrow." And with that, she was gone in a matter if seconds.

"Ugh..." Edward growled, reluctantly bending down and wrapping his arms around Envy, picking him up. The homunculus was surprisingly light (2), Edward noted, making his way to the curb to hail a taxi.

The alchemist sighed in frustration, brushing a stray strand of green hair out of Envy's eyes. He'd been a bit harsh, hadn't he? Though the homunculus deserved every bit of it, Ed couldn't help but feel guilty for being so heartless. He nearly felt as if he'd sunk to the level of a homunculus.

_'I'll give this a try'._ Edward thought to himself while allowing a sympathetic glance at the other. He couldn't help but sigh in slight frustration, this would be a long, horror filled nine months.

* * *

**1. I read somewhere that pregnancy tests that use blood samples take about a day or two to get results, mostly because they run the tests in large batches of about 10-40. But maybe it was a slow week at the hospital and Envy was the only test they had to do, idk I'm just lazy~  
2. I think in Brotherhood it was mentioned that Envy is actually really heavy because of his unleashed form or something, but I just I don't know lets say he's light okay**

**I apologize for using a non canon character, I just wanted a character that acted like Hanji Zoe from Shingeki no Kyojin as the doctor~ Imagine the character as her, if you want~ I really feel like this fizzled out, the first chapter was probably the best so far. Also, I've been considering making Winry the major antagonist. Not like full out villain, just maybe misunderstood? Idk? Or there could be no antagonist and this just be like full on fluff which I don't mind either, I'm probably better at writing more angsty stuff though sooo~  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**SCHOOL IS COMING TOO FUCKING QUICKLY UGH EXCUSE ME I NEED TO SIT HOME ON MY ASS ALL DAY AND FANARTS **

**Anyways, I'm estimating about 10-ish more chapters of this? Unless I get really carried away somehow because that happens sometimes...**

**Disclaimer: Oh you know the drill, just read on.**

* * *

"I'm sorry, Ed." The blonde girl said quietly, her pale blue eyes gazing up into her former lover's golden ones. This was how it was in all the movies, the girl rushing to the guy to apologize, realizing she'd been wrong the whole time, and then he'd take her in his strong arms in a passionate embrace, away from everything and everyone and it would just be the two of them. Winry smiled to herself, looking up hopefully. "Will you take me back, Edward?"

Edward felt as if he had swallowed his heart in one single gulp. Here she was, beautiful as she always was, begging for forgiveness. For him. "Winry I'm... Sorry. I can't," he mumbled the words solemnly, they left a dry feeling on his tongue.

"W-What?" Winry's eyes were the size of saucers, blinking with innocence and confusion and hurt and disbelief. How could he do this to her, when all she wanted was to be with him? "What, is there another girl? Replaced me that-that quickly!?" She stammered, tears brimming in her eyes. This wasn't Ed, Ed would never do this to her. Ed loved her.

Ed parted his lips, he didn't know what to tell her. "I'm so sorry... There was a prob- complication with Envy and he's..." The words just couldn't come out. He couldn't squeeze them out, they were all just excuses.

"Winry, Envy's pregnant." He blurted out the words quickly, eyes dulled and cast shamefully down at his feet. His upper jaw chewed at his bottom lip, hoping that the horrible silence could soon be broken.

"He's... What?" She whimpered helplessly, her eyes watery as a few glassy drops managed to leak out. "That's not possible!"

"The doctors say that it is..." Edward explained in a guilty monotone.

"Why haven't you made that asshole get an abortion?! He would never care for his own child anyways!" Winry spat, her vision blurred from the tears, hatred, and denial. How could her prince charming ever leave her for him, a heartless homunculus, and at that- another man!

"You don't know that, Winry!" The alchemist hissed back, it was probably true enough though. Could a monster like Envy ever feel love for his own offspring? Probably not, but no one knew that yet. Though Envy was a bastard, and at fault in the situation, such personal accusations couldn't be made towards him without further knowledge. Not yet, anyways.

"Are you... defending him?" The mechanic yelped, as she felt an awful tightening rise in her throat. "That gender confused prick is the one who tore us apart in the first place!" She grew more and more venomous as she began to sob, clutching at her eyes to cease the flow of tears.

"We can't make accusations like that yet." Edward muttered, he didn't want to be defending Envy, he wanted to be on Winry's side. He wished that he could be. But how could he possibly forsake the mother (or father in this case) of his child?

"Forget this, forget you, Ed! I can find someone better!" She snarled, wiping away the salty tears from her eyes. "I.. I hate you!" Winry hissed, curling her dainty fingers around the cold, metal doorknob and slamming it in Edward's face.

Ed looked after her through the small window in the door, watching as her form got smaller and smaller as she ran. How did everything go so horribly wrong? For him and for Winry, and even for poor Envy?

_I'm sorry,_ Edward inwardly pleaded, hoping that she could one day truly grasp how sorry he really was.

* * *

Envy didn't know what to think. He was normally quite contented with ripping innocent people's lives apart, because that was just the kind of person that he was. But something felt wrong this time. A feeling that he hadn't experienced in near 400 years, ever since he was human. Was it guilt? Regret, even? How long had it been since those words had even crossed through his mind?

But Envy wasn't stupid, and just because he couldn't experience such vivid emotions didn't mean that he couldn't hear and feel them as they were expressed by those around him. And the strain in Edward's voice, the sincerity as he begged for redemption, and as Envy laid down on the couch in his own serenity, how could he not feel the slightest ounce of guilt as those around him suffered? Had the sadism been sucked out of him alongside the glowing red stones?

"What's wrong with me?" Envy questioned in an undertone, his feminine voice just barely trembling as the words began to tumble out. "How did I get into this mess, this wasn't supposed to fucking happen!"

And how was Ed supposed to react as he quietly watched the tormented homunculus? Should he have been pitiful or smug that the monster had finally gotten what he deserved? But then again, who deserved this? Ed's expression shifted to a pained one as he apprehensively watched Envy feebly stand, clutching his stomach with an anguished look on his thin, pale face. He looked horribly drained, nourishment had become foreign language to the sin. He quickly brought his fingers up to his mouth to prevent the gagging, he couldn't lose any more stones, his body couldn't endure it.

As Envy's knees collapsed beneath him, Edward instinctively surged forward to support the fatigued homunculus. "What the fuck are you doing?" Envy rasped callously, as his miserly attempts to swat Ed off of him failed miserably.

Edward did not respond, as he scooped an unwilling Envy up in his arms and walked unsteadily towards the bathroom, hitting against walls in the cluttered dorm while continually swaying along like a drunkard. With both hands occupied, he kicked open the door and lurched inside, setting the now deranged homunculus down on the cold tile floor. Knowing now that he had little choice in the matter, Envy threw open the lid of the toilet and began to unceremoniously vomit more glowing stones.

"You're in a lot of pain, aren't you?" Ed asked quietly, gathering Envy's long emerald strands off of his face and holding them at the nape of his neck. "N-No shit.." He choked between gasps that gradually faded into tortured dry heaves. Nothing else could possibly be left inside of him at this point. Nothing other than misery and suffering, at least.

Envy's small hands still gripped the sides of the bowl, tears streaming down his face as he struggled to regain his composure. "Can you tie my hair up off my neck, Edward?" The small voice belonging to Envy broke the painful silence. The sin hadn't even the effort to revert to using the silly nicknames that he'd always referred to Ed by.

Edward nodded, parting the damp greenish tendrils as he slowly began to braid them, securing the dark mess of hair up behind Envy's head once he was done. "How many stones has it been this time?"

"Thirteen." Envy murmured, violet eyes meeting with Edward's. Looking back at the once hardened stones that were now intermixing with the clear water and leaving a reddish pink fluid in it's place.

"Do you even have any more left?" It had been 62 stones this week, if Envy still had anything left inside of him it certainly couldn't be much.

"I don't think so... I'm fairly sure that I wouldn't be able to reproduce as a homunculus. So whatever's going on might be turning me human." Envy explained thoughtfully, as he finally managed to stand. "I would rather fucking die than go through all of this." The homunculus hissed behind his grit teeth, his face contorting with the discomfort and rage.

"You brought this all upon yourself, Envy." Edward sighed, which was obviously the worst thing that he could have said in the situation. Envy whirled around, with his purple eyes blazing. "My fault!? Excuse me, but have you ever heard of protection, fucktard?" Envy growled, his display of anger quite obviously overexerting him which caused him to lean an arm against a wall for support.

"You should try and get some rest, you might have to try and keep down some food when you wake up." The alchemist pressed, helping Envy to his feet. With one of the sin's slender arms slung over Ed's shoulder, the two hobbled throughout the narrow hallways to Edward's bedroom.

The alchemist eased Envy down onto the bed and the homunculus immediately laid down, he'd completely lost the will to protest or put up any fight whatsoever. "Don't kill me while I sleep." Envy murmured, shivering from the fever that somehow made him feel as if he were freezing and boiling to death simultaneously.

"You really think that I would stoop that low?" Ed scoffed, reaching for the thin blanket and draping it over Envy's damp, trembling body.

"I never underestimate people." Envy retorted groggily, cocooning himself in the sheets as he rolled over, turning his back to Ed so that he was facing the blank wall.

"Do you hate me, Edward?" The green haired sin asked suddenly, still managing to keep his gaze away from Ed's.

This caused the alchemist to look up, a surprised expression on his face at Envy's outburst. "What did you say?" He questioned, just for clarification, but he'd heard his companion loud and clear. He received no answer, however, as he noticed Envy's breathing become almost unnoticeable, while soft noises escaped his lips as he slept.

Edward didn't even notice the corners of his own lips turn upwards as he slowly approached the sleeping form, leaning towards the pale face and planting a gentle kiss on Envy's cheek. "I could never hate you."

* * *

**Whoo angst, yeah~ Finally got to some fluff too~ A bit OOC, I know, I might rewrite this later on because I'm not 100% satisfied. I'd really love my readers to review for me, if you would spare me some of your time! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Hai bbys~ I'm deeply sorry for the horribly late reply, I must be at least a week behind my usual schedule for updates. School just kinda got in the way, y'know? Hope you can forgive me, enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Yeee I don't own this anime thing okay**

* * *

"Don'tchya think this house is a bit big for just the two- I mean, three of us?" Envy muttered hesitantly, glaring up at the daunting military estate that he and Ed had been issued. They had received it upon the alchemist's request, though it was a bit difficult for him to explain why he needed it in the first place.

"Meh, I'm not gonna complain." Ed replied lazily, shrugging as he lugged in the boatload of suitcases that held his belongings from the dorm. Despite Edward's protests, Alphonse had insisted on staying in their old room, claiming that he didn't want to get in the way of things. Probably just wanted to keep some cats without getting in trouble, Ed couldn't help but chuckle at the thought.

"I can deal with this alone, you know." Envy continued to complain, observing as Ed labored before him. He'd refrained from bringing in the bags himself due to his supposed 'delicate condition', or maybe that was just a codeword for laziness.

"No, you can't. And you've reminded me a million times, but I'm not going to let you kill our kid. On purpose or on accident." Edward said firmly, doing his best to lug in some more cases.

"Me, kill my own flesh and blood? Now why would I do that?" Envy simpered, the hormones weren't affecting him as much at the time, causing him to temporarily regain his typical cocky air.

The corners of Ed's lips curled upwards slightly, a mischievous glint reflecting in his golden eyes. "Oh I don't know, maybe because you don't want a little me inside of you?"

Envy's already pale face somehow managed to take on and even ghostlier shade of white, before being replaced with a light shade of pinkish red. He looked away to hide the seldom seen flustered expression, obviously taken back at Edward's crude sense of humor. "...did you just crack a dirty joke?"

"I dunno, did I?" Ed mocked the blushing homunculus, trudging as he dragged in the rest of the luggage. "You know, you can't squeeze into those skin tight clothes for much longer. It'll hurt you and the baby."

"Good." Envy grumbled. "I'd rather that parasite dead than ali-"

"Stop saying shit like that!" Edward snarled. Envy's eyes widened briefly in a rare moment of shock coated with a thin sheen of hurt, before hardening into their preferred narrowed slits. "Why should I? You hate me anyways! You'd rather have a kid with her, right!?"

"Who said that I hated you?" Ed hissed in reply.

Envy stared at Ed, a blank expression painted across his girlish features. "You did." He said flatly, as if implying that Edward were the dumbest person in the world.

"When?" The alchemist shot back.

After contemplating it for a moment, the homunculus stuck out his bottom lip in reluctantly admitted defeat. "You would rather have a kid with her though, right?" He mumbled, glowing violet orbs now glued to his feet in an almost submissive gesture.

"It's not that simple." The blonde sighed, absentmindedly running a hand through his hair.

"Yes it is, Ed. Who d'ya wanna fuck, me or her? It's that easy."

"If you'd stop being such a dick about this whole thing for one minute, maybe I could actually take the time to notice some of your more fuckable qualities!"

An awkward silence replaced the enraged yells that once occupied the space between the two, both with a mixed expression of shock and confusion on their faces.

"I can't tell if I should be flattered or offended." Envy drawled, lilac eyes unblinking with a look of glazed disinterest that masked the panic that was racing through his mind.

"Just go take a shower, Envy. Humans need those if they don't want to smell like shit." Edward grumbled.

"Are you saying that I smell like shit?" Envy pouted and stuck out his tongue childishly.

"Stop acting like a second grader, you'll need to learn how to be a human if the abilities that you had as a homunculus are wearing out." Ed muttered.

Envy felt an uneasiness rise in his stomach at the thought of becoming human, it was something he hopelessly desired yet dreaded all at once. It was difficult to explain the workings of a homunculus's mind, of a being that never should have been. Most of the time, the owner of the mind couldn't understand these thoughts themself. Envy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Fine." He sighed in a bored tone, lazily trudging up the stairs in pursuit of the bathroom.

Once he'd finally found a suitable bathroom in the maze of hallways and bedrooms, Envy shut the door and began to strip off his clothing, tossing the crumpled garments to the floor with an annoyed sigh. He could take care of himself, he didn't need to be pampered by pipsqueak. He wasn't fucking weak like a human, like Ed and the rest of them. He didn't need to rely on anyone else to get by, he didn't need to be taken care of! Living as a human was fucking easy, he'd show all of them how pathetic they really were, that he was a force to be reckoned with. Pregnant or not!

Envy grinned, determined to achieve his new goal, as he reached for the shower handle. He paused for a moment, resting his palm on the knob and blinking in slight confusion. "Ed! How the fuck do I turn this thing on!?"

* * *

Ed sighed, muttering under his breath of what a hindrance the homunculus was becoming, though he couldn't deny the tightening of his chest that he experienced whenever he laid eyes on the androgynous wonder. Seeing Envy as vulnerable as he was now only made those feelings strengthen, but that was only due to the fact that Envy carried his child, right? It had to be as simple as that, Ed denied the notion of more complex motives for his behavior.

Pushing overrated thoughts as such out of his mind, Edward found himself striding over to the bathroom. "What is it, Envy?" Edward ground out the syllables whilst twisting the handle and opening the door.

"These showers are so different from how they were 400 years ago! Homunculi never need to take them anyways, so I don't even know how to use this stupid piece of shit!" Envy growled, kicking the tub which resulted in jamming his toe. "Fucking fuck!" He cursed

Ed didn't know whether to laugh, sigh, or become completely flustered due to the fact that Envy was nude. His eyes settled on the pale, thin body, subconsciously taking in the feminine curves that gently flared out into wide hips that were enlarging more and more to enable childbirth. The absence of his headband allowed his hair to fall flatter against his head, framing his face which gave him a more tame and docile appearance, now also slightly longer as it nearly reached his knees. His mauve eyes were bright with a newfound innocence, yet possessed an aggressive luster which revealed that he was doing his absolute best to ignore the new sensation of pain that wouldn't fade as he was used to.

Ed tried his best to ignore how absolutely desirable the homunculus looked, eventually settling on a simple reply of, "Why the hell are you naked?"

"So you people shower with clothes on too!? You humans are fucking morons."

Ed couldn't resist an annoyed facepalm at that point. "Just get in the shower."

"But I don't know how to use it." Envy protested, pounding the shower handle with his fist a few more times.

"Yeah I know, I'll just have to get in with you then." Ed spoke the words as if he intended for them to be more of a suggestion, but they came out like an order.

"Why would you do that!?" Envy shrieked, his shrill cry resounding loudly throughout the house.

"Because you obviously have no idea what you're doing." Edward answered with a slight smirk at Envy's more timid, human side.

Dark eyebrows arched above narrowed, violet eyes. "This isn't necessary." He muttered, though complied with the alchemist's request as he lifted up his leg and gingerly stepped foot into the cold porcelain of the tub. Soon after Ed stripped off his clothes as well and followed, stepping in with Envy, the automail foot clanking loudly against the floor.

Envy instinctively recoiled as Ed turned the handle, allowing cold water to come pounding down onto the two of them. He waited nonchalantly as he'd calmed down, the water soon beginning to warm to the appropriate temperature. Envy closed his eyes contentedly as the now comfortably warm water ran over his body, mentally scolding himself for neglecting to participate in such pastimes before.

"Hand me me the shampoo," came the surprisingly gentle voice. The homunculus complied, grabbing one of the bottles from the shelf and shoving it at Edward.

The alchemist looked at the bottle for a moment, then sighed. "This isn't shampoo, it's the body wash. Read the label, would ya?" He snorted teasingly.

When had Ed gotten so friendly with him? Envy was under the impression that the other hated him, and that he would be receiving only the necessary means of communication. He had been honestly surprised at the kindness that Edward had shown him, kindness wasn't something that he was really used to. He didn't know how to react to things like that, he couldn't help but feel like a deer in headlights every time he had so much as gotten a smile from Ed.

Edward reached for the correct bottle, turning Envy's shoulders so that his back was facing him. Ed poured some shampoo into the palm of his hand, and soon after Envy felt the nimble fingers calmly treading through the long, thick hair, finally finishing with the surprisingly soft locks around ten minutes later.

"That wasn't too bad now, was it?" Ed grinned, proud of his work.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Envy wondered aloud, his eyes were fixated on his feet, he was terrified of what he would see if he dared look up.

The alchemist's eyes widened slightly, before closing them with a sigh. "Has it really been that long since someone's shown you kindness?"

"Don't avoid the question." The young looking homunculus grit out, with his gaze still down in an act of submission.

"Look at me, Envy." Edward said softly, his tone comfortingly quiet.

"Answer me, dammit!" Envy hissed as his head turned up sharply, piercing violet finally meeting softer gold.

"I'm not mad at you. I don't want us to have to be at each other's throats for as long as we're together. And to be honest, I like you, Envy."

Envy froze, his glare lost it's edge, his face relaxed but not without the barely noticeable quivering of his bottom lip and he grit his teeth to hide it. How long had it been since someone had said those words to him? Had anyone _ever_ said those words to him?

"You don't have to be afraid of me. I can see that you're terrified of getting hurt, right? That happened the last time you trusted someone, I assume." Ed coaxed, placing a gentle hand on the trembling shoulder. Envy's hands flew up to hide his face, now reddened from tears.

"Don't cry.." Ed whispered into Envy's hair as he pulled the other into his embrace. Envy hung limply in Ed's grasp, he barely found the strength to lift his arms and wrap them around Ed's neck. Tears streamed down his cheeks, as he buried his face in Edward's chest.

"But shouldn't you be mad at me? I ended your relationship," Envy started as he pulled away, he couldn't help but be skeptical of Ed's motives as he looked up into his sympathetic golden eyes.

"I was." Ed started. "But we're pretty much even, or we will be after you go through the pain of childbirth."

* * *

**Mehh sorry for the late and sucky chapter I know I didn't do all that great but school is being evil and idek. I would have had this update up a lot sooner but I've recently been pretty depressed because my online friend's overprotective mom caught us FaceTiming and now we can never talk to each other again (I honestly don't blame her, I would've done the same if my kid was talking to some strange person that I'd never met). Sorry for the long author's note I just feel bad for taking forever and now that I finally updated it's just useless fluff and ooc aghhh. Anyway um, tell me how I did with the fluff I guess?**


	6. Author's Note

**Okay so I know the Author's note for my last fic pretty much ended it  
But that isn't going to happen here okay  
I've reread this and it's pretty horrible so I'm going to be rewriting pretty much all of the chapters  
It would be done already but school is keeping me up until midnight or one every night, and I have to get up sometime between six and seven, and my mom says that I'm not getting enough sleep  
So I'm pretty screwed  
But on top of this, I have a few other projects that are in the works that I take a greater interest in so keep a look out for those**

**So I'll get off my lazy but and fix this soon  
~Acid**


End file.
